Where Did Our Love Go

dverse Unraveling the Ovillejo with De Jackson (WhimsyGizmo)

 

The night is born at day’s demise.
I close my eyes,
one with the velvet dark. I picture you,
and listen to
Sinatra croon of lost love’s pain.
The falling rain
taps a countermelody on the pane.
Night dies at morning’s birth
and my hope at love’s dearth.
I close my eyes and listen to the falling rain.

 

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25 Comments

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25 responses to “Where Did Our Love Go

  1. OH.
    Debi, this is simply perfection. Your word choices, your rhythm, your use of the form.
    This patters soft, like that falling rain. Just wonderful. I’m enraptured.

    Like

  2. Whew, you rocked this one, Debi! Really poignantly meaningful. So hard to come to terms with lost love.

    Like

  3. Sad and sweet all in a great form — superbly done. Loved Sinatra

    Like

  4. This reads like a beautiful and haunting song ~ I specially love:

    The falling rain
    taps a countermelody on the pane.

    Well done with the form Debi ~ My brain also had a fun workout 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh, I like this that falling rain can be so bittersweet.

    Like

  6. Oh I love this Debi… the melancholy, the rain and the melodies.. the last line is perfection.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Such an excellent write 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  8. That last line is wonderful. Love this one, Debi.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Very nice execution of the form. There’s such a melancholy in this, in the sound of the rain, starting with that first line. Peace, Linda

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I always find something very soothing about listening to rain against the windows and something about this poem gave me the same tingles that I get at night when everything is silent except the rain against the glass. Beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I love this, it’s just beautiful. You tell such a moving story in so few words and seemed to master that form.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Very atmospheric and your words adapt well to the form.

    Like

  13. This flows seemlessly. That last line ties everything together wonderfully!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. deeply touched by the sad & tender feelings each line evokes…

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Tears like rain…tender thoughts wrapped up in this excellent ovillejo.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. You’ve worked it out well here, Debi

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Love faLLs
    raiN
    riSinG
    water
    sAMe
    drops
    sorRow
    Loves Bank..:)

    Like

  18. I have fallen in love with this poetic form, ovillejo..since I read Bjorn’s take this morning. Your’s is just wonderful! 🙂 …

    Liked by 1 person

  19. beautiful song….loved this…

    Liked by 1 person

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