adashofsunny Prompt Nights – Take me to the Ocean [7]
The sand under my body scrrrr
itches in places I can’t reach
a fish shaped kite flllllll
uttering in the blue sky
line of waves SwoooSHing
to shore sure as night follows day
dreams carry me across the sea
scape of white caps and surf
bored into my drowsy thoughts
like longshore current drift
wood on the beach bleached white
by a hot Tropic of Cancer
causing sun stroked dreams.
Lying on a beach towel listening to the surf and watching the activities of a busy beach while the heat slowly makes me drowsy and my thoughts blur and drift crazily. That is what I’m trying to make you feel with this reworked poem.
Wow! This poem flows with the power of the ocean currents 😀
Beautifully penned. Thank you so much for participating 😀
Lots of love,
Sanaa
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You succeeded your goal with this one; incredible sense of place–reminding me that closing one’s eye near the sea, with earth as mother, is return to the womb, & beyond that to the emergence of life itself from the sea.
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very sleepy and dreamy with an ear tuned to the whispering sea-song and being wrapped up with the sun’s cheesy smile..love the alliteration so much…
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I love “sun stroked dreams” — that’s just brilliant. >
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by a hot Tropic of Cancer
causing sun stroked dreams.
Must be pretty warm on the beach to cause sun-stroked dreams!
Hank
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Reading this, I felt as if I’m sitting by the warm waves and enjoying the delight of smelling the salty sea….wonderful words… 🙂
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Sounds wonderful! I like what you did with the words, how they sound elongated that way, like the waves rushing in and then back out. Just relaxing and enjoying the day. 🙂
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Oh and it works perfectly..beaches can be hard work…scratchy..and strange but sun stroked drowsy dreams – magic and evocative..
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Perfect title. And there is a surreal feeling to the word choice that makes me feel as if I, too, I’m there… in a half delirious dream.
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Works beautifully, Debi. Beaches are real life dreams.
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Love your title. The beach is a place of hectic and serene. It all depends on the mood you carry to the sand.
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A delightful read. Beautifully constructed. Loved it.
Here’s hoping you’ll check out my blog too. 🙂
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Thank you so much. I will be round to visit after the weekend. I will be gone to see two (of three) of my children and four (0f 6) of my grandsons.
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Oh that’s wonderful to know! Hope you have a lovely time with your family. Will be eagerly awaiting your visit. 🙂
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